From the Desk of Maverick Brenton.
Location: Jungle Haven.
This morning I woke up early next to a pretty Russian girl in my private villa. Her hair smelt like fruit and her body was warm. Hot coffee was bought to the balcony. Rain fell outside and the air was cool with the same early morning breeze I love. Life is good, and I work my ass off to make sure it just keeps getting better. New levels, new devils. I can’t imagine staying the same. My entire life is driven by a vision of who I want to be and the things I want to do.
At the same time life could be very different for me, it could be much worse. I’ve experienced much worse, been on the edge of suicide because my head was lost in inescapable darkness and I had no sense of direction or purpose. I’ve smelt human shit as I cleaned it off toilet seats at 3am, broke down mentally in a mouldy shower because my body was beaten and my mind exhausted by it’s own endless hurricane of useless thoughts.
I’ve felt the hopelessness of the average man and I’ve clawed my way out of it. I’ve seen what it’s like to suffer, watched my own dad collapse drunken in a pool of alcoholic piss wishing he made different choices, wishing hopelessly that he could turn back time to try again. Most people don’t know what pain is, they think they have problems. Yet the only problem the average man has is that his life is too fucking easy because he has never been blessed with true suffering.
Nowadays when I wake up in the morning listening to water flow between the rocks of a pretty pond, birds chirping in the jungle outside, with the smell of coffee rolling in through my windows and some level of peace in my black heart…..I wonder.
How did I end up here? What happened?
I could still be digging trenches, stacking shelves, washing dishes, picking up dead fish in cold water, slaving away on some construction site for 12 hours every day. Wearing down my body, feeling depressed and beaten. Taking orders from some asshole. Barely making enough to pay the bills and do the things I want. Using sleep to escape my reality, just like I remember doing in a past life.
The only thing I can see which I did that got me here was never giving up. I did not stop, I did not settle, it was either what I wanted or nothing. There was no alternative. Even when I was sleeping on my mums floor, when people thought I was a failure, there was still no alternative - I was never going to settle for less than what I wanted.
Life is fair. But it doesn’t give shit to anyone who is absolutely not trying their best. Which is the reality of why 99% never get the things they want.
THEY DO NOT TRULY ATTEMPT.
I used to feel sympathy for people, but now I don’t give a fuck because I understand how the game works well enough to know that if you can walk, talk and think you have no reason to not be where you want other than you haven’t put out the effort needed to get there. You are a shit talker. A fucking pussy. All you do is think about it and never do it. When it gets hard you quit, when the alarm goes off you go back to sleep. You don’t deserve anything more than you have.
Your life is the product of your choices and actions. We all get what we deserve. If you really wanted something you would find a way to get it. You wouldn’t be playing video games, watching movies, or out pissing away your time and money with idiots every weekend. You would figure out how to get what you want. It’s that simple and on some level you know it.
I am convinced that the majority of the modern world is absolutely delusional. They talk about all the things they desire and how they wish it was different, but they don’t do anything. It’s as if they expect just thinking about it and wishing for it to make something happen. Humans are no different than apes, we merely have better brains and the ability to create our own reality if we choose to learn and leverage the power of our mind.
Yet man is a lazy beast. When his needs are met he wishes to do nothing but lay around and indulge in pleasures. He does not feel the need to do what needs to be done until it is too late, he lives in the delusion of comfort and security until these illusions are taken from him by life. Then he is left naked and bare, out in the cold wind of life without the strength or heart or bravery to fight off the wolves snapping at his heels, and so he is taken down into the darkness by them. He ends up with a world he never wanted and a life he hates. Failure and pain are the shackles he can’t see and lacks the strength to break free from.
The world can be a harsh place or it can be heaven. You make it in your own image. You put it together as you desire. But to be a creator you must be willing to do the uncomfortable, to endure pain, misery, frustration and boredom. Weakness is the worst quality a man can have, weakness of character and mind. A weak man is both useless and worthless. He cannot endure anything and crumbles under pressure. He cannot be relied upon and counted on. He is pathetic. Women can afford to be weak if they choose so, but not men. Your shoulders are broad for a reason, you have knuckles because nature designed you to fight. Why do you think your balls produce testosterone?
We live in one of the easiest times of all times throughout human history. Life is not like it used to be. Everything is extremely easy but it is not as simple. Technology is the crutch and cope of modern man. His life is a bucket with no bottom being filled with empty pleasures constantly, pleasures that bring no lasting peace or satisfaction. He has no farm and cattle, no land to roam or family to protect, no wars to fight and seas to travel, no adventure to embark on or unseen land to explore.
He is a slave to the Matrix. Owned by pieces of paper called money. A servant to bills and cleverly designed traps he does not even know exist. But he feels their weight when after working 50 hours of the week, he can scarcely afford to do what he wants in his only free time, and he cannot help but look around him to wonder what is wrong, because none of it feels real. There is a splinter in his mind that pulsates pain through him whenever he looks up and looks around to compare what his life is with what he thought it was going to be.
None of this is real, it’s all a construct of another man’s imagination. We live in the mind of others now. Our time and energy is used to further the agenda of someone else unless we realise and choose to live differently. The greatest thing any man can ever do is look himself in the eyes in his bathroom mirror and truly realise that he is his own soveriegn being. He has his own thoughts and desires. He is his own fortress. He has things in him that are great - unwritten books, unfounded businesses, unexplored talents, untapped genius - but it goes to waste because he is taught to disregard himself in service of a machine that’s only goal is to devour his heart and soul to spit them out as minced meat that looks just like the rest.
When life is not going well and you’re really stuck, you tend to fall into this kind of hypnosis where you stumble through each day numb and docile, going through the motions because you don’t know what else to do or how to change. Everything seems impossible. People seem bigger than they are. Life has it’s foot on your throat and you’re gasping for air every minute of every day, wishing it would stop. But it doesn’t stop, not until you die, and most people live this way forever.
Do you realise that literally everything you are told by the system growing up does the opposite of genuinely improving your life? Do you understand that your entire world is built upon lies and a fabricated history? Do you think that you are doing yourself a favour by following the rules?
The things that you are told to do - get a good paying job, buy nice things, get mortgages, etc etc - are designed to put you into checkmate on the board of life so that you have nowhere to go but further into the corner you’re now in. Because when you are living week to week with a pile of debt while earning excellent money, and if you stop working you’ll lose everything, you are too busy to realise what has happened and too comfortable to back out of it because it is against human nature to leave comfortable certainty for something unknown. You’ve been lured into the slaughterhouse where you remain until you die.
Since I could walk I have been outspoken against the system. I hated school, I hated the teachers, I hated everything conventional and still do. I hated the news, I hated the media, I hated all of it - but one day I realised I will never change any of it and why should I? Most people are fine with it, in fact most people adore it. My parents love watching the news and hearing the actors read off their scripts. So do many other people. Yet it took me 25 years to realise I could only control my own immediate life and when I realised that I just got on a plane and left the country that I no longer wanted to be in.
As time passes and I gain more life experience, I care less and less about trying to make other people do things that I think they should do. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. In reality the majority of people are simply not willing to pay the price for all the things they want. All they care about is the outcome and want to jerk off over it but avoid the hard work and sweat that is required to bring it into reality. There’s an enormous disconnect between the average man’s dreams and his work ethic - I don’t think he realises how much it will actually take to get all the things he says that he wants.
In my own personal life I no longer spend time on anyone or anything that is a net negative. Time wasters, energy drainers, excuse makers, they get zero % of my time because I do not want to hear a fucking word they have to say. I am insulated in my own little bubble of hard work, success, positivity and realism. That mean’t cutting off family, old friends, old ways of living, old ways of being.
It mean’t change.
If you want things in your life to change, then you have to change things in your life.
1 + 1 = 2.
The funny thing is… it takes a genius to understand that.
~ Maverick Brenton
Filed under · Daily Journals
